secret business truth

it's a shocking thing to admit, but there are some customers that businesses do not want. customers who take up too much time and cost you money, or are dishonest, hateful, steal from you -- you have to circumvent them. you don't get pleasure from it, but you do ban them.

rest assured, we want 99.999% of our customers. in 11 years, we banned 40 customers out of 50,000+   

apparently the banned customers got together this week and had a therapeutic session using lots of vulgarity, hate speech, and name calling, honestly acting like they were all back in 3rd grade, and then they all felt better. i'm glad they feel better now, but they're still banned. haters are gonna hate. there's a reason they are the .0002% of customers that we don't let order anymore. the excessive vulgarity and name calling and lies are kind of a clue as to what type of people they are which is how they got banned in the first place. the banned happy mug club apparently hoped that we would go out of business because of this week's venting session but alas, our sales for the week are up. not an all time record week, but well above average! lots of first time customers and tons of traffic on the site and we've been burning the candle on both ends trying to keep up with orders -- as they say, all publicity is good publicity. we lost exactly 4 subscribers that day, but gained 30 within a couple of days. (no hard feelings to those 4! do what you think is right! when you're ready to come back to happy mug, we will welcome you back in). supportive emails poured in from our regular customers giving us a head's up about the venting session and also letting us know it was mostly exaggerations and wishing we would defend ourselves. (truths aren't that hard to discern for the average person though. our stance is to avoid drama and negative people and just stay out of it. we let conversations about us stay organic and don't interfere). but still, thanks for sending love our way! and to be honest, i'd be mad too if i stole from one of my favorite companies and got banned and wasn't allowed to order from them anymore. i'd probably want to vent and then feel better for a minute.

bottom line: if you steal from us, we're gonna call you out. we're gonna report you to your bank, we're going to report you to fraud apps, we're going to come after you. if we let you steal from us, our honest customers would have to pay more. that's just not okay. if you steal from us, you're going to be reported and prosecuted. if it hurts your feelings and makes you feel upset, i mean, maybe stop stealing. or just steal from someone else, because we aren't going to sit back and do nothing.

for what its worth, we love all of the rest of you because you're making the world a better place. we couldn't do this without you. you're letting us expand the network of passionate farmers who are becoming rich because of you. through us, you're sending kids in third world countries to better schools, you're building them water wells, you're building hospitals. not only that, but here in the states you're letting us educate people about specialty coffee. you're letting us employ people in our rural community at above average wages. you're letting us donate and support non profits in our community. you're letting us come to a job where we get to roast and drink amazing coffees and then share them with you. we love you so much. we have the best job in the world because of you. come visit whenever you want so we can have a mug of coffee with you and give you a hug and show you pictures of all the differences you're making to humans worldwide.

our lease is up at the end of the month and won't be renewed (unless its a bluff!), so we probably will be out of operation for a bit next month, but we are scrambling to limit the disruptions. we found a place that we can move into and it needs a little bit of work but we shouldn't be down for too long. we will be moving for the fourth time -- we've been growing 40% a year and it's amazing.  the timing is frustratingly short so if we do go dark next month, don't worry, we're going to come back stronger than ever once we get set back up. it is a beautiful shop with high ceilings and lots of room for upgrades and growth. we thank you for your business, we thank you for believing in the mission. our business model has allowed us to disrupt the specialty coffee industry -- paying farmers super high prices and selling coffee at razor thin margins -- focusing on high volume instead of high profit -- with coffee that literally tastes better than competitors who charge twice the price. it makes them look greedy when we split a coffee arrival with them and we sell it for half the price that they do (and roast it better and ship it faster). our low pricepoint is bringing in customers who otherwise couldn't afford specialty coffee -- which in turn expands the specialty coffee market -- which is good for everyone! our commitment to extremely fast turnaround and dependability means you can count on us. we will get your order out the door no matter what. tornadoes, blizzards, floods, nah, we don't miss a beat. no excuses. the things we have overcome to get orders out the door is worthy of a book when i retire and have time to write it.

we are artists here, we are crazy passionate, dedicating our lives to perfecting the art of coffee. you'll just have to forgive us for being crazy. the coffee beans we send you are from passionate farmers and talented importers, then through countless hours that we spend tasting through samples, then roasting the best ones multiple times until we perfect the roast, then replicating that roast over and over and over sitting there each and every day nailing each roast within a couple of seconds. -- so it's hot off the roaster the same day that you order it and shipped immediately. we work 18 hour days, we work weekends, we work holidays, we absolutely have your back. forgive us if you come out swinging saying you threw it away without giving it a chance and we swing back. we and many others poured our heart and lives into that piece of art and that hurts that you didn't give it a chance. if you do that, just try to ease us into what happened, don't come out swinging.

but to be honest we are having fun. your support allows us to do this every day and the momentum is growing. don't worry about the simple few who swear every other word. their vulgarity and name calling and hateful speech just means they have some growing up to do. they are trying to be a distraction, but we are here to take care of you, and we love you, and we're all on the same team.







  • Someone on a social media platform was recently hyper-critical about a very large, well known coffee company from out West. The moderators locked that post within a few short hours.

    The attempted takedown of HM several months ago on that same platform was allowed to continue for days and days. Hundreds and hundreds of mean spirited and lying posts were seemingly welcomed by the moderators (one of whom was rather hostile towards you).

    In all of my years drinking specialty coffee and ordering a lot from HM (not so much lately), I have always been treated with respect, kindness and understanding. Did I ever run into a problem? Sure, maybe a couple of times. But those few issues were resolved in a very fair, customer-friendly manner.

    HM offers quality coffee at amazing prices, treats customers with dignity and gratitude, and generously supports farmers and their communities, but that apparently is not enough for the tiny minority that wants to take you down, rip you off and spread lies about you. That’s unfortunate – the great news is that virtually everyone else that has ever dealt with HM knows you guys are fantastic. Drink up everyone!

  • My guess is that the haters have no effect on your business other than spreading the word about how amazing your coffee is! Seriously, I cannot even order coffee when I eat out anymore because I’m spoiled by your coffee beans. Please don’t let haters get you down. The 99.8% of us who don’t hate you need you to stay in business!

  • Known about you guys for a bit and recently played my first order. LOVED that the roasting date was literally 2 days before arrival. Of course it’s excellent coffee. Really enjoyed this random post that gave me a inside peek into the company! Keep doing what you’re doing, I’ll keep ordering!

  • Known about you guys for a bit and recently played my first order. LOVED that the roasting date was literally 2 days before arrival. Of course it’s excellent coffee. Really enjoyed this random post that gave me a inside peek into the company! Keep doing what you’re doing, I’ll keep ordering!

  • Well said Matt. If only the death penalty existed for these people!


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